REAL Marriage

There has been much in the media lately about people cheating on their spouses.  Oprah had an author on to talk about cheating and recently MSN had an article about why men cheat.  What is important to remember is that anyone who cheats, man or woman, does so because they make a choice to cheat.

People will give all kinds of reasons for cheating and when you get to the bottom of it they made the choice to cheat.  The reality is that cheating is a bad choice and it is wrong.  We can always choose to do right.  No matter what is going on in our marriage or relationship we have the choice to do what is right.  We can choose to do right even if the other person is doing wrong.  As long as you are in a marriage you only have one legitimate sex partner, your spouse. 

Those in relationships who are not married should wait until marriage to have sex.  Since most of you will not listen to that admonition then realize that if you are going to have sex with another person you should get out of your relationship first.   Cheating is cheating whether you are married or not.

Make good choices and choose to be faithful - this is a key to a REAL relationship or marriage.

Go for the obvious this week and go to a Halloween party for your date.  It is fun to get in a costume and have some silliness in your marriage.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

It is International Magic Week so it is time to give your spouse a REAL Love Note describing the “magic” you still feel in your marriage.  You can write about being “mesmerized” or about how your love will never disappear.  Since it is cool around most parts of the country right now you can even hide the note in your spouse’s hat so that when he or she puts it on the note falls out of the “magic hat.”

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

It is World Rainforest Week so: (1) Take your spouse to a rainforest for a walk (easier for us in the Pacific Northwest), (2) take your spouse to a local botanical garden and visit the rainforest section, or (3) plan a vacation together for a place where there is a rainforest.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

Today is Columbus Day.  Give your loved one a REAL Love Note that says, “Happy Columbus Day” on the outside (or decorate it with a picture of an old fashioned sailing ship) and on the inside write, “Let’s make some new discoveries together” or you can tell your loved one the favorite thing you have discovered about him or her.

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

Today is International Top Spinning Day.  So pick your fall colored paper and decorate the front of your note with a picture of a top (draw one, use a sticker, or print one from an internet file then cut it out and tape to your note) and on the inside write something like, “You’re tops with me.”

Remember, REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

Avoid temptation.  Make a list of do’s and don’t to help you (e.g. DO: Call my spouse everyday; Don’t: Meet with someone of the opposite sex behind closed doors).

Remaining faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.

It is fall so it is time to break out the brown and orange cardstock and writing utensils.  Decorate the front of this week’s REAL Love Note with a tree and leaves on the ground.  On the inside write, “I’m still falling for you.”

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

Today I want to share with you some information I received through an e-mail from Smart Marriages.  Sex is often a topic that can be joked about, yet not seriously discussed.  From this article it is evident that sex in marriage is good for you.

“Researchers have linked sex to better immune protection and to a lower risk of prostate cancer. One study found men with more frequent ejaculations (21 or more a month) had a lower risk of prostate cancer compared to men with four to seven ejaculations monthly.”  All the men are high fiving each other now because they can tell their wives, “You don’t want me to get cancer do you?”  Just remember guys, if you treat your wives well you will get all the sex you can handle.  See other entries in the blog for pointers.

Part of the article spoke about resuming sex after a heart attack.  The good news is that most people can resume sexual activity after a heart attack.  For those concerned that sex could bring on a heart attack the article says: “In reality, only about one half of one percent of fatal heart attacks occur after sexual activity, and 80 percent of these involve extramarital affairs or persons having sex with much younger partners.”  Again, we see that sex is safest within marriage.  There can be deadly consequences for straying.

Be REAL with one another and enjoy sex within your marriage frequently.  You will both be healthier for it.

Have you seen those lists of “101 ways to…”?  Now is the time to give your spouse the REAL Love Note that is “101 reasons I love you” or “101 things I like about you.”  Yes, this one will take a little more time and be bigger than normal.  Writing this note is good for both of you.  You, as the writer, need to be reminded of all of these things so that you can keep joy, love, and thankfulness in your marriage.  Your spouse will enjoy seeing these things and will definitely keep this note to read again and again.

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.