REAL Love Note Tip #157

Go to your local newspaper and buy an “end roll.” When newspapers have to change the roll of paper in the presses there is usually a little paper left on the roll and the companies will sell them to you for a small fee. I think I paid $4 for the last one I bought. Now you have a roll of large paper to make really big love note.

You can also use it as a throw away table cloth or for art projects with kids.

Remember, REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

Love and Psychotherapy

“Love is nature’s psychotherapy.” Eric Berne

Illusions and Consequences

“It is not a loving thing to allow people to continue living in their illusions and not encounter the consequences of their actions.” Greg Johanson and Ron Kurtz

REAL Love Note Tip #156

This coming Wednesday, October 16, 2013 is Dictionary Day! Give your special someone a REAL Love Note of dictionary definitions that describe what you like, love, or appreciate about him or her. For the fun of it you can make it look like a dictionary and call it “(Your name’s) Dictionary of Words describing the most awesome person I know: (Insert loved one’s name).”

REAL Love Notes are an investment in your REAL marriage.

REAL Date Tip #104

It is October and Fall so take advantage of the activities that come around during this time of year. Go to a local corn maze for a date and follow it up with a hay ride. Be sure to have some hot chocolate or hot apple cider.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

REAL Love Note Tip #155

September 19th is National Talk Like a Pirate Day! So today, and each September 19th, give your spouse or special someone a note from your pirate self that lets him or her know that he or she is your treasure. You can make the note in the shape of a treasure chest or put a decorative note inside a small treasure chest to get your point across.

So, be a pirate today and steal your loved one’s heart all over again with a special note about how you treasure him or her.

REAL Love Notes are an investment in your REAL marriage.

Marriage Through The Alphabet – E

Encouraging is our “E” word. That is no surprise since the “E” in REAL marriage stands for encouraging. This is a manner of speaking to one another. Here are some suggestions about what it means to be encouraging.

  • Use your manners: Please, thank you, excuse me, etc.
  • Speak kindly
  • Be helpful
  • Be truthful
  • Watch your tone, volume, and speaking speed
  • Restate content. “You mean….”
  • Reflect emotions. “You mean…and you feel….”
  • Clarify
  • Give grace or the benefit of the doubt
  • Be aware of context
  • Listen
  • Keep the relationship in mind
  • Speak to others in a way that you would like them to speak to you
  • Give sincere compliments

Most of us could use more encouragement. Sometimes this has to do with what we say to our spouse or another person. At other times it has to do with listening well and taking the time to fully hear our spouse or another person. Simply engaging your spouse in conversation can be encouraging as it provides contact and a sense of sharing in each other’s lives. So take the opportunity everyday to be encouraging to your spouse, it will help you maintain your REAL marriage.

Marriage Through The Alphabet – D

Determination is important in building and maintaining a REAL marriage. Determination gives you the motivation or energy to do what you need to do in your marriage even when you do not feel like it. Marriage is great overall and yet some days are difficult. Some days we do not want to be nice to our spouse, or kids, or co-workers, or anyone else. Determination can help you be nice anyway. Determination helps you get through tough days, weeks, months, or even years. Determination is not pretty at the moment but it leads to beauty through time.

Stay determined. It will help your marriage, encourage others, and leave a good legacy for your children, grandchildren, and friends.

Forgiveness and Life

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” Norman Cousins

Forgiveness is important to your married life adventure. One of the things that will make this adventure more enjoyable for both of you is the ability to offer and receive forgiveness. For more on forgiveness read this blog post.

Forgive and enjoy the adventure of your REAL marriage.

Marriage Through The Alphabet – C

The “C” is Celebrate. Most of us like to celebrate when there is something to celebrate. If we look for a reason we can find one most days to celebrate something and make it part of our marriage or family. Celebrations are happy and become good memories. These good memories can sustain us when things are not so good. Celebrate as often as you can whether it is a small celebration or a great big celebration. Here is a quick list of ideas to get you started.

  • Your spouse’s (and other family members) birthdays – each month
  • Your anniversary each month
  • Holidays
  • Promotions
  • The weekend
  • A new week
  • New jobs
  • End/beginning of school
  • Accomplishments in extra curricular activities (bowling league, children’s activities, etc)
  • Reaching goals
  • Change of seasons

You get the idea. Celebrate often. If you follow this advice you will have at least one celebration each month. Start celebrating more and see what happens.