REAL Marriage

“If you are not very close to your spouse, there is room for someone else.”  Bonnie Eaker Weil

Stay close to your spouse so that you can have a faithful REAL marriage.

It is Halloween week so get out your orange or black cardstock and make that Halloween love note.  You can also get in the “spirit” of things by using white cardstock.  Let your wife know she is your one and only “ghoul.”  You might try a note telling your spouse how he or she “bewitched” you when you met or some other Halloween related message.  You can make it even better by taping Halloween candy to your note.

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.”  Clare Boothe Luce

Men and women sometimes grow hopeless about situations, and especially their marriage. Your marriage can be good, REAL, and even great. Maintain your hope and keep working.

For those with a belief in God, you know that nothing is impossible with God.  Keep praying, involve your faith community, and keep following God’s principles.

Maintain your hope through the bad and the good.

Take your spouse for a breakfast date. Who says you always have to go out in the evening. If breakfast won’t work because of your schedule then go out to lunch or supper and have breakfast food.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

Continue with the fall theme in this week’s love note.  Use brown cardstock for your note and a gold colored gel pen to write your message.  You can always use, “I fall in love with you more every day” though something from your relationship is better.

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

The military is famous for using acronymns.  One often heard acronymn now is, BUB, or Battle Update Brief.  These need to be avoided in your marriage, meaning we need to eliminate, or at least greatly reduce, battles in your marriage.  To accomplish this task I recommend a few different update briefs.  No PowerPoint allowed.

For those of you with children, have a daily FUB, or Family Update Brief.  It does not have to be long and it is best done during a family dinner together.  Find out what is going on with everyone in the family.  Celebrate the good things and provide support for difficulties.

As a couple, it is good to have a daily MUB, or Marriage Update Brief.  Keep each other informed and share your day. Take fifteen minutes each day to have a MUB and you are likely to have a smoother, more enjoyable marriage.  The MUB is a good place to practice the “E” of REAL, Encouragement.

Couples also need a weekly RUB or Romance Update Brief.  Spend some time each week talking about the romance in your lives and what you want to do to keep it going.  This is a great time to plan that weekly date that is part of keeping the two of you connected.  Dates do not have to be expensive they simply need to happen.

Keep up the communication channel with these update briefs.  Good news needs to be shared quickly so all can experience the happiness.  Bad news does not get better with age and is not a pleasant surprise so communicate bad news as it happens so all can make plans to deal with it. 

Good communication is an important part of accomplishing your mission of having a REAL Marriage.

Saturday, October 20, 2007 is Sweetest Day.  Spend a little extra time and make a really nice REAL Love Note letting your spouse know that he or she is your sweetest.

Go out for a sandwich together.  Pick a sandwich shop you have not been to before and for the sake of your taste buds, don’t go to one of the chain sandwich places.  Branch out and try a sandwich you have not eaten before and share your experience with one another.  Try each other’s sandwich.  Also, get something different to drink from what you normally drink at lunch.  If you always have soda, get a different kind of soda or try tea, either hot or cold.

A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.

October is a month of candy.  Take advantage of the Halloween candy on sale at any store and incorporate it in your REAL Love Note.  You can tape a “fun sized” piece of candy to the outside of the note and write on the inside, “I’m sweet on you.”  You can get an individually wrapped “LifeSaver” and tape it to the outside and write on the inside, “You’re my lifesaver.”

REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.

“Married love is most often killed, not by outright hostility, but by simple lack of considerateness.”  Richard Taylor

Keep your love alive by being REAL.