When talking about marriage problems with same sex friends, make sure you are looking for ways to do what is right instead of complaining about your spouse.
We cannot change others, only influence them. We influence well when we take personal responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
Remaining faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.
Go to your closest airport and watch planes leave and take off. Talk together about the places you want to go together. This works great if you can lay on your back to watch the planes as they go over you.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 is Earth Day and National Jelly Bean Day. So take your spouse on a date to help the earth, (pick up trash, plant flowers, etc.) and eat some jelly beans while you are at it (jelly beans are low fat). You can have fun while helping the earth all at the same time.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
“No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind.” George E. Woodbury
No one ever made a great marriage by only thinking about a great marriage. Devise a plan and then work it so that you can have a REAL marriage.
Do not talk about problems you are having with your spouse with someone of the opposite sex.
Have a friend of you and your marriage of the same sex to go to when you need to talk about difficulties in your marriage. Someone who is your friend and a friend of your marriage will listen with compassion, help you take responsibility for your part of the marriage, and guide you in doing things that are good for your marriage even if you do not like it. This person is not afraid to tell you the problem lies with you.
When you speak to someone of the opposite sex about problems in your marriage you run the risk of getting needs met from the person you are talking to when those needs should be met by your spouse. The same sex friend will help you address getting your needs met with your spouse. The opposite sex friend could end up being part of the problem.
Will there automatically be more problems if you talk to an opposite sex friend? No. Do not take the chance though. Remember that when you are having problems you are more vulnerable and that caring ear from someone else may mean more to you then you intended and lead you where you had not planned. This is why we make a proactive plan up front.
Does this mean you cannot have an opposite sex therapist? No. Therapists are trained to draw boundaries in these situations. My personal preference though is that if it is a marital problem that the two of you go together. By going together you automatically have a check and balance and you are more likely to work out the issue between the two of you instead of getting sidetracked by possible feelings for someone else.
Staying faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.
Today is Ford Mustang Day. The Ford Mustang was formally released on this day in 1964. Go find a nice Ford Mustang, preferrably a 1964 convertible, and go for a ride with your spouse. Stop by the drive-in (not drive through) eatery for some food and enjoy a drive-in movie.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi
The quality of your marriage has everything to do with your commitment to an excellent and REAL marriage. When you actively work on a daily basis to make your marriage REAL and excellent then you are likely to achieve your goal.
National Inspirational News Week is April 13th - 19th. For this week’s REAL Love Note tell your spouse how much he or she inspires you. If you can find a way to include the Chicago song, “You’re My Inspiration” you will probably get extra points.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Many parents report a reduction in the amount of sex they have following the birth of a baby. Preganancy and the time following childbirth is the time that many people enter affairs. This does not have to be the case in your marriage. Click here for an MSN article with tips on maintaining your sex life after the birth of your child.
To have a REAL marriage you need to be married on purpose. You need to be intentional about your marriage and have a plan for keeping it at the level you want or for making it better. Maintaining your sex life is a critical part of your REAL marriage. Read the article in the link above and keep your sex life satisfying even after the birth of your child.
Recognize that work is a dangerous place when it comes to staying faithful.
In clinical samples studies indicate that 46% to 62% of people involved in an affair met their affair partner at work. Be careful how you treat relationships at work and always keep them on a respectful and professional level. Make sure to speak kindly about your spouse often at work and keep those marriage symbols visible.
Remaining faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.