Since this is the autumn time of year it is time to let your spouse know how you are looking forward to the “autumn” of your marriage together. Let your spouse know that you look forward to growing older together and the joys you anticipate for that autumn.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Focus on faithfulness, especially during the difficult times.
The current economy is tough on many people and during such times most of us try to escape the pressure in some way or another. Those who “escape” by enjoying family and friends, game nights at home, and books from the library are really just coping in healthy ways. Those who rely on alcohol, illegal drugs, or affairs are escaping in unhealty ways. Focus on faithfulness and look for ways to get through the difficult times as a team. When you remain faithful you come through as a winning team.
Remaining faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.
This Saturday, September 26th, 2009 is National Public Lands Day. Go for a hike and a picnic on local public lands. You may also be able to bird watch, see the leaves changing, or take great pictures. Enjoy the public lands while enjoying time with your spouse.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Some weeks present many opportunities for love notes and others present few opportunities. This week has many so take your pick of the following:
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Tomorrow, September 19, 2009 is Wife Appreciation Day. This week go on a date that your wife would appreciate. For you wives who read and/or are the date planners pick where you want to go this week. It is also International Eat An Apple Day so you might want to have an apple. It is okay to have a caramel apple, apple pie, or maybe some hot apple cider if it is cool at night where you live.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Just like your car, your marriage needs maintenance. Just like your car there are some things you can do yourself, some your friends can help with, some you can take care of with a class, and sometimes you may need to call in a professional.
The first type of help is self-help. This is where you get a book, read some reputable articles, or watch some DVDs of good marriage material. This is the type of help that I recommend to all couples to keep things running smooth. The analogy is checking the oil in your car and keeping it filled to the appropriate level.
The second type of help is what I call group education. This may be a class at your church or local mental health center. Seminars also fall into this category as do marriage retreats and workshops. The emphasis here is on education with some skill building. This level helps keep things running smooth and also helps when a minor adjustment is needed.
The third type of help is peer assistance. Mentoring programs, coaching programs, and support groups fall are examples. With these programs there is an emphasis on learning and using marriage skills proven to work with other couples.
The fourth type of help, and the one many people avoid, is professional counseling. While we might be able to change our own spark plugs or oil, putting in a new transmission usually requires a trained mechanic. When the previous types of help do not produce the desired results it is time to see the trained professional.
Keep up the regular maintenance and you may never need that trained professional. It does take work and time and it is worth it. Just like that car that you maintain for all of those years becomes a “classic” your marriage will be a “classic” when you keep it maintained. Then it will be your marriage getting the envious looks that “classics” always get. Maintain that marriage and become a “classic.”
This Saturday, September 19, 2009, is Wife Appreciation Day. Spend some extra time on this week’s REAL Love Note. Make it bigger, decorate it nicer, and make sure the written message lets your wife know how much you appreciate her. Use card stock, decorations, and ink in colors she will appreciate. Remember that September’s stone is sapphire and the flower is Aster though using her favorites is a sure winner.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Football season has begun. This week go to a football game. Your local youth league has fun games for not much money. Your local high school appreciates the support. Some of you prefer college games and others an NFL game. Get out and have fun together.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Today is Labor Day. Give your spouse a REAL Love Note showing appreciation for all the labor he or she takes care of around your house. You can also make a note about how you enjoy laboring together or how your relationship does not seem like much labor. Your thirty to sixty seconds of labor makes a big difference in your relationship.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Tired of the same date night every week? This is the excuse many people use to stop dating. Currently, the bad economy is another reason people give for not dating as spouses. This week’s date is not the same thing you do every week (at least for most of you) and it is inexpensive.
September is Library Card sign-up month. Go to the library and sign-up for a library card if you do not already have one. Once at the library use that new or existing library card to pick up a book in a genre you normally do not read and the two of you share your books with each other. You can also both read the same book and have your own private book club.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.