This Saturday, January 23, 2010, is National Pie Day. This week go out for a piece of pie together, even if it is not on Saturday. As you eat your favorite pie reminisce about your favorite times together and maybe even plan for some new favorites in the future.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Little things matter. Have you ever tried to lace your shoes with laces that did not have aglets (the little plastic things at the end of the laces that make it easy to put laces through holes)? Have you ever lost a key you need? Then you have experienced how little things matter.
Little things matter in marriage. I am willing to say even that little things matter, overall, more than big things. The illustration for this is one I have used many times and you may have heard elsewhere; it goes like this: If someone were to offer you a penny today and double your money every day for a month or offer you one thousand dollars a day for a month, which would you take? At the end of the month you can have $30, 000 at $1000 per day or you can have over five million dollars if you started with the penny. You probably want the five million.
Little things in your marriage are like the penny and even if not doubled every day they do get compound interest. Examples of little things are saying please and thank you, replacing the toilet paper roll when it runs out, doing a chore your spouse usually does, REAL Love Notes, a phone call or e-mail, or a small gift. A small gift is something under $10. If you really need to celebrate then you can go to $20. Any more than $20 dollars and you have moved into big things, which are appropriate at times, but not all the time.
We guys are often the ones who fall into the big things trap. Our wives like flowers and instead of buying a pretty bunch of flowers from the grocery store we spend over $100 for a bouquet of long stem roses. Most women would rather get 15 bunches of flowers from the grocery store (over time) then the one time bouquet of roses. Though we often hear “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” many women do not want to wear diamond ear rings, bracelets, or necklaces to the grocery store, hauling the kids to practice, or even to work. Find something less expensive that you know she likes and go with it. The way to do this is to pay attention when you see her looking at things and writing down what she looks at so you can buy it, or something similar, later. In case you missed it, one of those little things is being with her when she is looking at those things.
Let’s look at this another way. Thanksgiving is usually a big meal. We have a bunch of food and we eat a bunch of food. We do not eat that way at every meal. Other days we have normal, or smaller meals, and these meals sustain us. Well, your spouse needs regular small meals (little things) to sustain them in the marriage.
Little things matter. Let us all be big enough, to do the little things.
Today is Thesaurus Day. Pick a good positive word that describes your spouse and make it the front of your love note. Find that word in the thesaurus and on the inside of the note write the words that have similar meaning to your word on the front. Be sure to make the note color your spouse’s favorite and decorate in a way your spouse will enjoy.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
This Sunday, January 17, 2010, is Bald Eagle Appreciation Day so get out and see some bald eagles together. Since it is cold around most of the country, after your outdoor eagle watching find a good place to celebrate Hot Heads Chili Days with some hot chili.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” Anais Nin
The good news is we now know how to replenish the source. Be REAL. Do those things that once sparked love, happiness, fun, and enjoyment. Keep your eyes and ears open so you know what is important to your spouse. If you mess up, fess up. Remain faithful to your spouse in all areas. Keep your marriage healthy and speak healing and encouraging words. Continue to invest in your marriage, water it, polish it and keep love alive.
Occasionally a REAL Love Note is not a note but a small gift that says, “I love you” or “I was thinking of you.” For example, when I returned from a weekend trip last night there was a a small pot of miniature daffodils on my desk. Daffodils are my favorite and those daffodils meant, “I love you and was thinking of you this weekend.” So this week use a small, inexpensive gift (under $10) as your REAL Love Note.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Tomorrow, January 8, 2010, is Bubble Bath Day. The date tip is to take a bubble bath together. You can make this romantic with candles and soft music or you can be silly and get some bath paints or crayons and have fun making art on the walls. You can also just sit and soak in the bubbles.
A REAL date a week builds a REAL marriage.
Resolve to give your spouse a REAL Love Note at least once per week. Any media counts but it has to be a love note (asking him or her to pick up milk on the way home by text message does not count).
This week send your spouse a love note listing the top 10 (it is 2010) things you want to do with him or her this year.
REAL Love Notes are deposits in the love bank.
Review your faithfulness plan today and at least once every year. If you do not have a faithfulness plan and want to write one go here for a template.
Remaining faithful is essential to your REAL marriage.
Resolve to be (or remain) intentional about your marriage in 2010. It is time to review your faithfulness plan and make 2010 the best year of your REAL marriage so far.