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Teen Discipline – The Good
“What do I do with my teenager?” Well, if what you usually get is good behavior then go with the ideas listed below.
Spend time with them. Spend as much time with them as you can without smothering them. They will learn much of what they need by watching you. If they are with you then you can impart your values to them. If they are with someone else then they will learn the values of the other person or group they are with. Spend time with their friends and friend’s families as well. This will make a great network for ensuring that your teen continues good behavior.
Discipline them. In other words, train them to do what is right. When they do it – reward them by providing positive consequences such as additional optional privileges. When they break the rules provide negative consequences such as decreasing or removing an optional privilege or privileges.
Let them make their own choices as long as the choice area is developmentally appropriate. Along with choices ask them for their input on areas that affect them or family areas where their participation is desired or required. You, as the parent, have the final say, but they often have good ideas and they learn to work with others when they are asked for their input.
Increase their responsibility as they show the ability to handle it. Along with this, allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Again, you can choose which mistakes to let them make and which ones to step in on to prevent harm.
Attend their activities. Whether it be sports, music, drama, debate, chess, art shows, or parent teacher meetings it is important that you are there. Many of these things are growth privileges, which are good and contribute to your teen’s growth. Your teen will like some things that you don’t and that is okay. It is also likely that your teen will value what you value and one way to express the importance and value of growth activities is with your attendance.
Encourage them in their interests and as people. This is related to attendance yet it is also separate. As part of the encouragement, let them know you love them. Tell them you love them and show them you love them. Do these things in a way that will be meaningful to your teen.
Above all, set an example for them. This is the hardest part for most of us. Whatever you want your teen to do, be willing to do it yourself. If you do not want them to drink soft drinks then set the example. (This is the hard one for me but I had a hard time telling my son he could not have some of my soda when he asked politely and I was chugging away. So now I drink water or juice when that is what I want him to drink.)